I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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