No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I did not marry a roomba.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
