I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
