i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
