you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
