On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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