so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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