That's intense
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
