her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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