do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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