I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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