I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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