Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
