your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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