I'm going to jail i love you
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
