I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
