my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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