NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
