To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
