Betty ford says i'm here all night
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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