What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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