This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
