Life is so much better after having sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
