she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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