Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
