I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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