I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
