I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
These tits shall not be calmed
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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