i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
