Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize