"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
its liver damage thursday
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize