the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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