Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
