she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
