Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize