Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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