we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
