Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
