4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can Purell be used as lube?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
