apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
