wat bout pragnant strippers??
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
