You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
handjob tips. give me some.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
