I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
