Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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