do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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