Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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