Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
