I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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