i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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