You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
