I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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