bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
