There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
