I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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