I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
