My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
