Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
