we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
