you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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