Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
