a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
