So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We're too hungover to prance.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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