If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
